Cause and Effectiveness...

Ever hear the one, goes:

Every effect has a cause ... therefore god?


Bullshit. Kinda god is that? The ineffective kind. Must be, if that god has all these assholes running around spouting causality; when all they are saying, is my cause is better than yours. Na... na... na-na... na! All it is, is grade school name-calling bullshit sponsored by all the waldos that hadda walk 'round; with their briefs pulled up to their ears.

I mean, aren't you fucking insulted? Don't you look at god, and go... Now, there's some shit! You let this people, reduce god to... cause? Think it makes a difference, to go; First Cause? Fuck, no... I got a first cause. Bowel movement. And here I am, spewing shit...

How about this one, ever hear this one? When you hear the truth, you will know it? So, how about it? Ready to take a moment; and listen, maybe get an effect?

To accept god, reject causality.

Yeah. How that shit feel? But... but... but... but... Halting error. Relax, it will pass. You got to have perspective. You got to keep your shit tight. Sit real still, focus upon a single point... god.

One single point, god; one single point, you. Do not move. If you do not cause, there will be no effect; there will be you. There will be god. Let us slow down time. Slow... down... no movement. You. God. Care to guess where we're going?

Eternity.

No movement. No time.

Now, then... People trying to pimp your ride? What are they talking about? Forever. The sum of all time? Why would they do that shit, alla man gotta do; shut his hole, be still... god only moments away, soon as moments become monumental... any man can see? Why the wanna talk about forever?

Cause they wanna see you burn, that's why! How fucking simple is that? These fuckers ain't dumb, they want you to be dumb; the only causality they care about is chains of causality. Remember the points of stillness? Just you and god? Now, how a mofo; gonna connect the dots across the near infinite expanse of forever, end up at god? That's like shooting some eight-ball, talk some smack; I can bank this shot every time.

Every time? Every single time? Are you sure? Are you absolutely positive, you will not miss?


See how they do you? Slip that shit in there, you don't even realize; Did you see it?

Miss.

That's taking yer eye off god. You've fucked the poodle.

Na... na... na-na... na!


Wanna wise up? Then wake up. There's Buddha, and zen, and tao; tell you all about being still, talk about the nothingness, look like a bunch of peeps, ain't got a whole buncha chains of causality dragging their shit down. You don't even need any words; if it is zen, it is zen...

What, too mystical? And I suppose physics is too hard? Like how it goes: causality determines the arrow of time. It doesn't say, determines that you're gonna burn; it doesn't say, determines next Thursday's lottery, it doesn't say, right. Because it is all right there in what it says; that's science, everything you need, nothing you don't, to make shit work.

Their shit ain't working. Their shit, gets people killed, keeps people lost, makes god look like a chump. They don't give a shit. You get to their heaven, you know where you'll be?

Third grade schoolyard, waldo.

Proving God

How do I know god exists?

Comedy.

A one-word answer with zero bullshit. I hear all these people talking about "proof of god" when there ain't no such animal as "proof of god." The same kind of people arguing that they need no evidence for god, turn around and say they have faith.

Faith? Faith?

That ain't faith, that's gullibility; that's a peculiarly ignorant from of ignorance. I have faith. I have built it from scratch, using the scientific method; my faith take your faith out back, ride it like a big dawg. Give you one of the puppies, you'll have some faith...

That is how you prove the existence of god, by the light of your faith. If your bulb ain't got no wattage, no amount of words gonna shine no light; but anybody who opens their mouth about god is proving god. Proving god to look like a jackass, seems to be the general direction...

What, that's offensive? You got some kinda omni-god that don't look like a jackass? Kinda hasta be less omni, that way, no?

I'll tell you what is offensive. Religious tolerance. Man, there is nothing more intolerant than religion. What kinda tolerance is killing in the name of cartoon? What kinda tolerance is believe or die? What kinda almighty bullshit is eternal torment?

With god, everybody wins. That's the omni in god.

But that ain't good enough for you, is it? No, you gotta win; you don't care about god, you care about your religion. What does the Bible say about that?

Thou shalt have no god before me...

I'd think that's pretty important, being first and all. Lemme break that line down, make it real simple... tell ya how my faith works.

I believe in Gwyneth Paltrow. Because I love that girl like stoopid, she's before god. You ain't gonna get a rise outta me, talking smack about my religion; but don't you be talking no bullshit about my Gwynnies, I will saddle up my camel and it will be jihad!!!!

And I bet you think the first commandment makes me wrong. No. The first commandment makes me right. What I mean, about the light of faith; you can interpret or misinterpret these words in any manner you see fit; but I trust in god.

I know how it would be to saddle up for a religion; it's the same kinda faith that I got, and I know because I did the science. I know for a fact what I'd be fighting for, would be the honor of my religious sect. Those that think otherwise, ain't thinking; and why ain't they thinking?

Because an attitude of religious tolerance allows this bullshit to pile up. You think I got no respect for the Prophet? Next to this bed is a blade called Sword of Allah, we can sort it; I know he'd be up for that kinda ruckus... but I also know it is not his time, it is our time. He had no kinda idea, world like this; seven billion people with near-instantaneousness communication. He's looking down, what the hell's he seeing? Fifty idiots that didn't understand the first command; making his name less in the eyes of billions.

That's billions, by the way. I understand shit. My respect for the Prophet ain't going nowhere but up; even as it seems that my respect for those who follow him is doomed to decline. Catch me drawing any stupid cartoons; I'd only be disrespecting idiots without the long view.

My view is so long that any bullshit spin up outta this blog; get my fool head chopped off, that's my fault. And I don't give a shit; I don't have to care, with no head. But while it is still attached, no; I have no respect for religious tolerance.

Besides, how can I show the light of my faith; a muthafucka don't know how to take a joke. And I ain't thinking just 'bout myownself. I'm thinking about how much more popular god would be; everybody getting a good laugh outta deal, not having to tiptoe 'round bullshit sensitivities.
 
Comic jihad!

 Loudest laugh takes the prize; nobody cries, nobody dies...

Revelation

You may not care that I have scientifically proven that hell cannot exist, but I do. Another thing that has been scientifically proven is the strength of my convictions in this matter. The last time a pastor told me, "we need to talk about hell;" I let him live, but I didn't like it. Cannot say I like it any better now.

Does that offend your Christian sensibilities? Do you think that "scientifically proven" is scripturally irrelevant? What about this statement?

 to be born again is to know that eternal life is now


Are you Christian enough to understand that statement? I understand it, so did the pastor and his assistant; they didn't think I was anything but Christian. Why, then; do we need to talk about hell?

See how easy it is to prove that hell does not exist? Not convinced? That is because you lack vision... perhaps if we run it in slow motion, go frame-by-frame... I know who I am, what I am, and where I am going;  I assume the pastor and his assistant felt the same. The pastor's problem seems to be, that for all his book learning; a man of simple faith confounded his desire to preach, by undermining the foundation of his personal gospel: the need to talk about hell.

But the Bible says... I can hear the braying of sheep. Who cares what the Bible says? The Bible says whatever the one who speaks wants it to say; if you came here looking for a cherry-picking atheist, best you run away while you still have some wool left. I don't care what the Bible says, I care about what the god of Abraham tells me through the Bible. Know what the last thing he told me was?

Talk to the hand. Well, not to me; to the lady who was on her way to heaven, only to see an upright palm. I have done all that the Bible told me, she insisted. And yet believed me to be the type to cause damnation and eternal suffering, said a voice behind the palm; even worse, you allowed others to believe it...

Of course it was a vision, jeez; that's the way these things are done... this was a vision of essentially zero duration occurring when considering such things during on-line debate.

I have had enough debate. Bunch of sheep gonna believe whatever the want to believe... try to push that crap in my face on the street, however, someone just might get a revelation...